A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
