Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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