Walk of Shame. In a state park.
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I don't get it. If he broke into Taco Bell at 2 am, then why couldn't he have brought me home a fucking taco???
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