sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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