I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Randomize
