ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
Just found out I have to work new year's eve. It's like one final 'fuck you' from 2009.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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