Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Randomize
