instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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