she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Oh I will totally be your beard, but on one condition I get to watch you and your boy friend have sex.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
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