he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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