Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
