He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
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