How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
Randomize
