new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
