Your dad touched me again.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
