New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize
