mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
