Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
