Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
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