Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
