we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
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