new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize