On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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