Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
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