Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
