So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
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