I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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