Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
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