:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
drinking out of a sandbucket again
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
