i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Carry on my wayward bro, there'll be beer when you get low. lay your neon tank to rest, dont you rage no more.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
He's eating a sriracha ravioli sandwich. How do you think the night is going?
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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