I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
Do vagina's smell?
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
