Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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