How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
I thought I drunk dialed Adam last night and left him a voicemail. I just checked my phone. I realize I left a drunk voicemail with my son's teacher.
That's when you crack a 10am beer
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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