He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Thanks for gettin' me home, killa. Have no IDEA how I woke up pants-less on the bathroom floor at 4a.m. You're like a big, angry guardian angel.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
Randomize
