Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
COCAINE IS GR8
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize