there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
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