That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
