Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
