my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You left your underwear on the fireplace
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
"Offered to eat Froot Loops out of my belly button" drunk. Thats how drunk.
Randomize