i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
