hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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