i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
