Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook