I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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