Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
