I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
