Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
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