that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
