why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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