I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
So squirting runs in the family.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
Randomize
