That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Randomize
