i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
Randomize
