Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
