If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
