he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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