found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
If muffins & morning blowjobs don't make him happy, frankly, I don't think anything will.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Panties = found
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
Randomize
