Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
