either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
Trust me I was high for like 5 years...I got this
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky