I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?