You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS