I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???