u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
