My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
