I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
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