Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
My pussy is not your playground.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I feel like my foot is being amputated. Or maybe it's the vodka. I couldn't tell you.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
