Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
