I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
meet me or not, i'm out of control
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Randomize
