Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize
