Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
