Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
