at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
