ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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