Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
