New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
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